Hotline to Richard Branson

I'm incensed. I've just wasted two hours of my valuable 'leisure time' on hold or on call to Virgin Mobile's Customer Service Team.

They refuse to believe that something is dreadfully wrong with my phone bill. Now, you can ask any of my friends - my mantra is that it's 'good to talk' but boy do I hate to text. If it's urgent I'll send you a reply but on the whole 'I don't do text messages' so how on this earth can Virgin try and convince me that I sent over 500 of them from my Blackberry over the course of 31 days.

Now you know how small the keypad is on a Blackberry and girlfriends, you'll know what I'm talking about when I say I have nails. Not just nails, they are talons - specially 'constructed' for my 'niece of shame's' wedding. It requires the skill of a contortionist to type a message on a Blackberry with these talons. Yet, Virgin are insistent that I sent on average 14 text messages a day - not possible!

All I wanted Richard, is for a member of your team to listen. I feel that everything is so automated these days that no one is willing to accept that an explanation could be 'outside the box.' God knows I don't want it to ever happen to me on a plane but Richard, doesn't your automation ever fail or screw up?

So, what to do? Shall I just continue to pay for items such as picture messages that I've never sent? Should I refuse to pay the bill and slug it out with them in court. To the former - I've never been a 'sheep' but to the latter - I don't like having bad debt. I also don't want to waste any more time feeling ever so slightly annoyed by staff at Indian call centres who address me sweetly with the most condescending statements such as 'Ma'am...but you know you are responsible for paying for the calls you make' in that singalong voice.

Should I laugh, should I sigh or should I lose it? Forget it! I'm going to bed.

Until Monday Richard.